Mask Of Dreams
by Animegurl64
Summary: A trip inside Lloyd's head. Let's see how he thinks shall we.Crossover wMirrorMask. ONESHOT. K because I'm paranoid.


Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of Symphonia or MirrorMask

I'm Lloyd. You probably already know who I am and what I do, so I'll skip my back round story. This isn't about my past. This is about my dreams. A weird dream I had when I was still disillusioned about the world. When everything was black and white and there wasn't an in between. Now there is, but this isn't about now. This is about then. Welcome to my world of colour and sound, with winds that whirl and water that twirls, fire that flies and earth that dies. Welcome to my circus of colour, light, shadow, sound and everything in heaven earth and in between. But mostly in between. Because it's the stuff in between the beginning and the end that matters. But I digress; this isn't the way to tell a story. A story should begin at the beginning. But the where is the beginning? I believe it begins in the Tower. Yes definitely the Tower…

I couldn't believe it. I wouldn't believe it. It wasn't true, it wasn't true and it couldn't be because it didn't make any sense. Well, actually it did make sense but I didn't want it to. Kratos couldn't be an angel; he just couldn't because he was too alive, to vibrant, to there and in the here and now. He was talking now but it was slurring and just went in one ear and out the other and surrounded me. Wrapped me up in crystal wind chimes and wind in trees and sparkles and magic, but it wasn't real and it couldn't be because Kratos was my friend and he couldn't want to hurt Colette. He just couldn't, because he was my Da and he looked out for me and he wouldn't do anything to hurt me because he loved me and this would hurt.

All this occurred to me in the space of thirty seconds.

He was looking at us now, pity on his face. " You really think you can defeat me?" and I knew we couldn't but I had to try because I couldn't UNDERSTAND and it didn't make sense. It did make sense though, as much as I didn't want it to, I kind of got it. Kratos was just doing his job and he wasn't really betraying us and he still loved me but he had to do this because it was his job.

That didn't mean that I had to like it.

I was angry and was hurt. I do stupid things when I'm angry. It's common knowledge. But I think I was more hurt than anything else, so I did something really, really stupid. We were fighting and he knocked me down and held his sword at my throat so I said was I feeling at the moment.

"I HATE you…"

I regretted saying that immediately because I didn't and I was hurt and I wanted him to hurt back but not like this. I saw the absolute horror on his face and the hurt and he looked like he might cry. It took five seconds for him to compose himself. I didn't mean it and I was about to apologize but I never got the chance cause a million other things happened and a blonde angel came down I was knocked away. The world faded black and all I could think of was:

"I'm dying and I can't apologize."

In my dream, I was 2 people and Kratos was there but his eyes were black glass. The me who wasn't was laughing.

I WOKE UP

I was somewhere but it was definable enough to describe. I think it was a city street and I was in my pyjamas. I did the only thing I could do.

I walked.

I didn't have to go far. I ran into two jugglers, they had masks on. The practicing with glowing balls and the balls turned to light and it was absolutely beautiful but a black cloud was advancing on us so they had to stop.

"Quickly" said the tall one " We must away."

Now I can be stupid, but I know to run when I have too. The tall juggler threw a ball and it burst into shards of multicoloured light. The other juggler pulled open a door as the tall one was consumed by the cloud and turned to black glass. The black cloud continued to advance. The other juggler shut the door. It stopped the cloud in its tracks.

"Where are we?" I asked.

"In trouble" he said. A cat came out of the corner. "Throw it a book," he said, so I did because it might have gone away. It just tore the book up and ate it. The juggler seemed worried. "We need more books. BIG ones." I didn't understand why but I got to big books anyway. He threw down the book and told it that it was horrible. Then the most peculiar thing happened.

The books started to fly.

He explained to me that if you made the books think you didn't like them, they migrated back to the library. So we got a free ride. The books floated away and I waved them goodbye, because it seemed the proper thing to do.

"What's your name?"

"Lloyd."

"You should change it. Something more dangerous and exciting. Something like VALENTINE!."

"What's your name then." I wasn't surprised by the answer.

"Valentine."

He then proceeded to tell me that he and the black glass juggler were a juggling act and that they were trying to escape the city before the black clouds destroyed it.

"Now where am I to find another juggler?"

"I'm a juggler." And in truth I was, it was a close guarded secret though, not Genis, Raine or Colette knew though. Kratos did, because he'd caught me practising with several knives and proceeded to lecture me and give me the Palmacostian interrogation of why I was doing something that stupid. I ended up teaching him the basics. I wished that I had apologized. But anyway that was how Valentine and I became juggling partners.

It was also how I was arrested by beetles. Well they might not have been beetles, but they sort of looked like them. They rattled on and on until they'd surrounded me and I couldn't have moved if I'd wanted to. They then began chattering about how I was dangerous until I politely interrupted and asked if I was being arrested.

"Not exactly sir. Or should we say PRINCE!" And with that they were beetling me 'to the palace.'

While they carried me I realized 2 very important things.

First not to make sense of any of this because I was 2 dreaming. I realized this when we passed a window and I saw myself in my bedroom at Dirk's sleeping.

My room at Dirk's is very interesting. It's covered in paint and charcoal and chalk of cities and worlds that I'd imagined. It was my world and refuge and no one could hurt me there.

But anyway we ended up at the palace.

"We've caught the Prince, Prime Minister!"

"You Have! Jolly Good!"

The prime minister reminded me of someone but I couldn't tell you who. But he seemed pretty happy to see me.

"You, young sir, have to give back what you've stole."

"I haven't stolen anything though."

He seemed rather shocked at that statement. He looked me up and down and appeared to come to a conclusion.

"Your not HIM, are you."

"I don't think so, but it depends who your talking about."

"I see. Follow me."

"Where are we going?'

"You'll see."

I followed him up a long staircase.

Everything glittered and shimmered and gleamed.

I think it may be the most magical place I'd ever been to.

There were suns on the wall and in the centre of the room there was a man. He was clearly the King of this place. On his hand there was a white rosebud.

His hair was long and white, but I knew that face.

"Da? Kratos?"

Just so it's clear, I have never said 'Da' to Kratos' face. Except once. But that's to be told at a later date, and Raine made a huge deal out of it so I never brought it up again. It felt right anyway.

He didn't wake up.

The Prime Minister explained to me about the world we were in. With the aid of a small band of mice that lived in his hat. Stop laughing, I'm sure you've had sillier dreams.

The world was divided.

The city of light, where we were.

The land of shadow, where the clouds were from.

Each place had a King. One day a boy had come to the palace and said he was a prince. He was looking for The Charm (Whatever that was) but they'd had a party and the next day the boy was gone and the King wouldn't wake up. Clouds started destroying the city and without The Charm, the King would sleep on and the city would be destroyed.

Things seem so incredibly simple when you're dreaming.

"I wake him up then."

The Prime Minister seemed sullen then. He explained to me that without The Charm it was hopeless. Just as he finished explaining the white rosebud bloomed into a perfect rose.

"What does that mean?" I inquired.

"That maybe it's not completely hopeless."

Which is how Valentine and I came to be at the library looking for information on The Charm (Whatever that still was). "So how big is the reward?"

"We save the King and the world. That's enough."

"No treasure?"

"None."

"As your manager, I would have gotten treasure out of it."

"You're not my manager."

"Details."

There was a grumpy librarian. I could tell because he was made of books. I told him we needed information he handed us butterfly nets and told us to follow him. I didn't understand why we needed nets. Neither did Valentine. I also came to a conclusion at this point.

Everyone wore masks here.

It was important, but we were suddenly where we needed to be. The book I need was pretty obvious.

A History of Everything.

Raine would go absolutely nuts. Finding it was easier. Catching it wasn't. I knew what the butterfly nets were for. The whole shelf of books started flying around but when I caught the book they went to their shelf. Except a red covered book which fluttered around me happily.

The librarian read to us from the History. It was about how the world was made by the boy that drew it. I tried to understand that when I noticed my new friend. The book was called:

A Really Useful Book

There were odd sentences on the pages. Valentine looked. "Look out the window. How's that going to help us?"

I looked out the window. There was a park in the shape of a sun.

"The sun's the sign of the King isn't it?" I said, "I think we've found a place to start.

The librarian told me to take the red book with me. He wasn't as grumpy as he pretended to be. While we were walking I noticed something in the windows. Dirk's house was empty.

"Shouldn't I be their if I'm dreaming?"

"You're dreaming?'

"Yes I think we've established that."

"Well that's not a bedroom anyway."

While we headed to the park, I began remembering why I had started calling Kratos 'Da' in my head. Mainly because I couldn't call him 'Dad'. That was Dirk's title; I'd just confuse them. But I remember anyway

It was dark. The ranch was dark and scary. I didn't like it at all and I was on my own in this tiny little cell without anyone. It was scary. I was scared. Kvar was cruel keeping me here and torturing me for his own amusement. I breaking too and I knew it. I was hearing voices that weren't there and mumbling to myself. Incoherently. I think I was curled in the corner in the fetal position. I must have been a sight. Anywho, Kvar was there at the time. Taking pleasure in his mental torture. Telling me lies about my parents and my mother and all that crap. I knew what he was saying was crap but I was numb and couldn't really fight back at this point. I was wishing for my long lost father to break in and save me. I got Kratos. Close enough. He broke down the door and proceeded to kick the shit out of Kvar pick me up and haul me out of the hellhole. I'm still not sure exactly how he managed it, but he carried through the entire ranch and back to Asgard, where we were staying at the time because Luin was in ruins. Anyway Raine burst out, proceeded to freak and I was treated and put to bed. They thought I was asleep but I wasn't and I heard everything they said about me not responding to anything. I wasn't depressed. Or insane. I just couldn't deal with life right now. They worried anyway.

I must have fallen asleep soon after because I was back at the ranch and it was hell. I think I woke up screaming and balling my eyes out like a two-year old. Normally, because Kratos and I generally get stuck in the same room when we can afford an Inn, this would embarrass me. But it didn't know because I was hurting and I didn't have room for any other emotions. Kratos shot out of bed and ran over to check on me. I don't think he was ever asleep. Wrapped me up in a tight hug and whispered it was going to be okay, because he was here and nothing was going to hurt me while he was around to do anything about it. Even in the midst of a mental breakdown, I realized he was telling the truth and I was safe. All control snapped at that point and I blathered about everything that had happened and I was crying on his shirt but he didn't seem to mind. He just kept hugging me and petting my hair and telling me it would be okay.

I think I fell back asleep because I woke up beside him. He was still hugging me and he was warm and nice. I felt loved and secure. I don't have a lot of memories from when I was younger, but it had been a long time since anyone had done parent things for me. Dirk is too short to hug and cuddle, and dwarves don't like a lot of physical touch. When I first came to the village, I realized I didn't have the closeness that the other kids had with their parents. I hurt. But this was okay and I didn't mind. I was very happy just to cuddle with Kratos and feel warm and loved. I stayed half-asleep for most of the day hugging and cuddling Kratos because I was afraid if I let go he would disappear. Raine was not thrilled and had to run her exam of my health while I was still cuddling him. I could literally feel the negative feelings roll off her in waves because she and Genis and Colette and Dirk had always been my family. I think she was jealous. Anyway I made the all time stupid mistake of saying to Kratos after told me to go back to sleep:

"Goodnye Da."

There was a sharp intake of breath from both Raine and Kratos but Kratos smiled so it was okay and I was half into dreamland anyway. I don't think they realised that I could hear everything that they were saying. Raine was not happy about this development and proceeded to explain to Kratos that 'Iselia' was my family and he was stealing another man's son.

I knew Raine was Jealous now.

Kratos explained to Raine in the "If-you-try-to-argue-with-me-I-will-kill-you-voice' that I could do whatever I wanted and he didn't care, and she had no right to meddle in affairs that didn't concern her. Complete with the Don't-you-dare-defy-me death glare, Raine walked out really stiffly and I could tell she was mad and hurt. I didn't want that but I had every right to make my own choices. I was seventeen after all. I went to sleep.

Things changed after that episode. Kratos started doing a lot of little 'Dad things' for me. It was nice of him and I really wanted to call him 'Da' again, but Raine's death glares that seemed to be fixed on the back of my head lately scared me into submission.

I think he knew anyway.

I really wish I had apologized now.

I was snapped back to the present by Valentine who had apparently gotten some clues to The Charm's location now. It wasn't a charm. It was a Mirror Mask. I asked him what that was. He said he didn't know and no one he knew about knew anything either. He had also gotten a key from some orbiting giants.

We were headed to the park still. The park is the borderland between Shadow and Light. I can't describe it, but it was dreams. Valentine started mumbling about a Tower and he and that they'd had some minor disagreement. I decided the best course of action was to ignore him.

I was somewhere, it might have been my bedroom, and I was trying to remember what I was looking for.

My Da said, "Honestly, love. What have you lost this time?"

He didn't look like my Da; he looked like the White King.

"I was looking for a MirrorMask, but I don't know what it looks like or how big it is or why it was lost or anything really."

"Well, where did you last see it?"

"I don't think I ever have." We were in a boat at this point I think. It was the only part of my dream that seemed like a dream.

"I want to come home now Da." I told him "I want you to be okay and there with me. I'm scared Da."

"I'm scared to love. That's why I'm having this dream. Do you think all parents have dreams like this when they're worried about their children?"

"It's not your dream. It's MINE."

"That's the kind of thing people say in dreams. I wish your mum was here."

I understood that feeling.

"Now, love. Your looking for something and you can't find it, but you know it's here. It's probably staring you in the face."

And I knew where it was, sort off.

Because it was MY dream, not his.

Because in my dream there would be a building in the centre of the pool over there with a bridge. And there it was. We walked over to the dome. There were a lot of keyholes. I tried one but the dome lurched and a window appeared. The me who wasn't and he was crumpling the page and yelling at Dirk. I wished he wouldn't but he dropped us smack dab in the middle of the dark lands. I also hurt my arm.

Crap.

Valentine said he would go get help. So I waited and while I was waiting I watched the boy destroy the world I'd built in my room. Bit by bit. Because he could.

Something made a noise outside the dome and I was wrapped in a dark net. It reminded me of being wrapped in darkness; I tumbled out on someone's floor.

A man looked at me from the throne. His skin was the colour of bronze and his pants and tunic were the blackest that I'd ever seen. I knew without question that this was the King of Darkness. Oddly enough, he had a strange likeness to Kratos as well. When he decided to throw his possessive fits. I hated that.

"You won't get away with this, Valentine will rescue me!"

"Valentine, I'd almost forgotten him."

He clapped and Valentine was brought in escorted by guards. He didn't look like a prisoner. "Well," he said, "He posted a reward and we were already here. No hard feelings right?" He walked out and I felt more betrayed then ever.

I was so out of sorts that I let the King of Darkness pull me down the corridor. When I came to we were at a door.

"Now my son. You must look proper for tonight. This is your dressing room."

"I'm not your son."

He looked me up and down.

'No, but you'll do."

He pushed me in the room and locked the door. I had a bad feeling just then. There were dolls and they sang to me. I wanted to run away but a pretty golden dust filled the air so I might have been watching the world from a million miles away. I watched them dress me, and made me beautiful. I was me, but I wasn't. The dolls made the boy perfect. He opened his eyes and they were black as glass. He didn't feel anything at all.

My life became something to amuse the King. I did what he wanted. I stood by him, sat beside him. I played with dolls.

And all the while the world continued to fall apart.

There were no windows in the Dark Palace so I couldn't see outside. But after lunch I would be sent outside to play with my ball and I would see a pillar of flame or the sky would be ripped away.

In my bedroom –The prince's bedroom- was a looking glass, and it had eyeholes in it, so the King could watch me from the throne room while I sat in my room. I liked that he watched me. It made me feel loved.

Family dining was important. The King would sit beside me and lecture me and I would eat and say "yes Papa, no Papa.' And "Sorry Papa" when I did something wrong.

Everything Shook.

I think it was an earthquake. Etiquette demanded that I offer to help.

"You know what's happening. He's going to destroy everything. Your real son. When he left it threw the whole world out of balance, and now it's falling apart."

He looked angry "YOU WILL NOT TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!"

"Yes papa. Sorry papa."

I was sent out side to play with my ball.

That was when the man came. "I guess sorry isn't going to cut it huuh?"

He threw the ball back. I caught it and threw it back to him. He added another one. Soon it was a colourful cascade of light. The Dark King may have owned my head but he didn't own my hands and they remembered how to juggle. They brought me back from a million miles away.

I was me again. And I knew what to do.

I knew where the MirrorMask was. It was in the prince's bedroom, because he was me on some level and that is where I would have hidden it. I learned Valentine had gone back to the dome and tried the key until he found where it fit. There wasn't a mask, but there was a note. It basically said that the Prince had run away and nothing could make him come back. We'd see about that.

I snuck Valentine into the Prince's bedroom. It wasn't hard. The Dark King was busy with a council. He would be busy for hours. Eyeholes work both ways you know. We searched every nook and cranny, but couldn't find anything. I looked in mirror across from me and saw a prince that looked tired and dejected, and then he didn't look so dejected. I'd figured out.

I put my face up to the glass and pushed. It felt like liquid silver. Wet and metallic. I backed away and for a heartbeat it tugged. Then came free.

I was wearing the MirrorMask.

It was weird. I knew everything. I knew I had to bring the other boy back. I knew I had to wake the White King and I knew to do that I had to find a window. I knew something else too.

The mask could do for me what it did for him. It could take me to another world to live someone else's life. It was a way out. I couldn't do it. I kept remembering a piece of advice I'd heard from a Triet Fortune-teller.

_You can't run away from home, without shattering someone else's world._

I needed to get things together again. To do that, I needed a window.

So we ran. And when I fell behind Valentine told me to keep running and we couldn't stop until finally we were racing across a plain to the White City where there were windows galore. It was great until the face of the Dark King Appeared in front of us.

Crap.

I attempted to explain to him that his son was destroying the world and he needed to let him grow up. I think he kind of got it. But he didn't really.

Darkness swarmed towards us. I was panicking, and Valentine was panicking because his tower wouldn't answer his call. I told him he had to apologize. I know that he needed to do more, he had to mean it. He shouted

"I'M SORRY!"

AND what would you know; the tower came and saved us. We even had a window. But it was too late the boy crumpled the last of my drawings and it was over.

"He's won."

You can do some neat things in dreams that you can't do in real life. For instance I could feel all he was experiencing. He/I crumpled the last bits of paper and threw them to the wind.

He/I whispered, "I'm never going back."

I felt his triumph that he'd beaten them all, from his Papa in the palace to the miserable little goody-two-shoes boy he'd replaced.

It was Perfect.

Then the door slammed shut and he noticed to window that I'd doodled on the back.

"I'm never going back."

I was holding the MirrorMask.

"You can't make me. I like it here."

His words, my voice.

"It's my world, my life." I told him, "And you can't have it."

"I just wanted real life.' he said. I don't think life as a doll prepares you for much more than running away.

"Real life? You can't handle real life." And I put on the mask.

Wearing the mask is the oddest thing because you know everything and understand it. Everything in this dream world made sense. It's also like being a god, you can create and fix just like writing a book. When I put the mask on I saw everything.

The White city was fixed.

The White king opened his eyes.

The Dark King and the prince were reunited. I hope they used this second chance wisely.

Everything made utter sense.

To bad I don't remember how it made sense. Because that's when I noticed Raine waking me up.

Everything that had happened before the un-dream hit me full in the face and I sort of went on cruise control. I didn't really wake up till we were in Tethe'alla. Even then I wasn't really awake. A whole bunch of important things happened and I finally gave Colette her birthday gift. But she wasn't back to normal. We had to go back to those mountains. We were captured (again) but we escaped. And funny thing, Kratos turned up. I was happy to see him and all but how the hell was I supposed to apologize with everyone there? So I acted like a teenager until he gave us some direction and just as he walked by me I whispered very softly

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it."

Things went back to normal from then on. But I won't go into that. We are still on the quest after all. Thing was I apologized so softly, I didn't know if Kratos heard me. But you know what.

I think he did.

When we met him in Sybak, he was smiling again. Not a Colette smile, but a small, secret Kratos smile that I'd learned to recognize. He didn't even try to take Colette, he just breezed right by everyone but half paused by me and said very softly

"I know."

SO that's it. The story of our journey's not done, but this is. So I'll end with the morals I've learned from that dream.

Miracles Happen

There's always a back door window

Don't say negative things to the people you love, you never know if you'll get the chance to apologize.

When you say sorry, mean it.

Dare to Dream.

So is this the end? I doubt it. I bet it's only the beginning.

Kratos shut the book that he'd found on the end table. He placed it on the table and walked over to the bedside. He kissed the boy on the forehead.

"Sweet Dreams… my son."

Then he drew his wings and flew out the window into the starry night.

And in his sleep, Lloyd turned and smiled.

"Goodnye Da."

Fin

Huzzah It's done!. And it only took 3 and half hours to type up.

Read and Review peeps.

Thanks to Kasan Soulblade for the inspiration in her fic "Shards of Regeneration"

It awesome. Check out.

A/N I realize the grammar is horrible and there are tons of run on sentences. It's not an English project for any grade. This is how I would imagine Lloyd writing. Following his thoughts with no worries about grammar or spelling. Also Kratos and Lloyd are OOC.

P.S, takes place in the First time you do the Tower of Salvation and meet the Renegades.

So Lloyd doesn't know Kratos is his dad yet. I still think it's cute though.

3:40am. yawn Bedtime.

Later.


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